Lee Lapp
Erin Thompson: As her grandchild... I've experienced the purest of love that can be offered from one human to another. Grandma was the type of person that made you feel awesome; like you were the most interesting person in the world, the smartest, the funniest, the kindest, and the most beautiful. Think of someone that you are extremely close with, someone who is almost a part of your own heart. Remember the fond memories of playing board games, stuffing your face with food at family parties, laughing until you had to dash to the bathroom before you peed your pants. Think of the things that lovely person taught you. What about the times you called that person because you were having a hard day. Or because you were bored and wanted to go out for lunch. When thinking of these memories and of this person, do you feel the love inside you? The love that person causes you to feel. That is the love my grandmother made me feel every day. So much so, that even now when her physical body is gone I can still reminisce and feel those warm feelings. Visualize her smile she would give when I'd do something that made her proud. Feel her nails rubbing on my back to help comfort me. Hear her voice calling my name to come eat dinner. I have a "ba-gillion" memories of her. Right now, my heart aches. It feels like an area of it is very gray... dead almost. Her physical being was apparently a part of what filled my heart. So, right now, thinking back on all those memories is almost a double edge sword. I initially smile at them but then become very gray when I realize I'll never hear her yell my name again, feel her nails rub my back, or eat her delicious pot roast that she had magic powers in making and no one can even come close to re-creating! Death is hard. Not for those that have died but for those left behind to try and figure it out. Grandmas was Amazing. Supportive, Caring, Loving, Energetic, Compassionate, Healthy, Curious, Intelligent, Spiritual, Beautiful. She was everything that was good (in my eyes). I suppose all of these qualities would make it hard to say goodbye. How lucky am I to have experienced the life of someone who makes saying goodbye so hard.